If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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