So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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