Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize