he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
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i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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