omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize