Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize