i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
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What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
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I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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