i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
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It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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