you lied. pity sex is amazing.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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