Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
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My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
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I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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