it wasn't lemon gatorade
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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