Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize