if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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