...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
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just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
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Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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