Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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