Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
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he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
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I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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