Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
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P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
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Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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