im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize