I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
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These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
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hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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