Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
How does it feel to date your dad?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize