he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
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Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
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I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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