im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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