Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize