So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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