her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
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Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
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The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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