Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize