Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
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he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
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I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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