You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
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I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
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I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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