There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
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She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
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When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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