My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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