Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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