we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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