is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
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Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
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All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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