Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm both gender and math confused
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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