4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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