Pappa wants mamma naked
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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