I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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