So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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