absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize