i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
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