I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize