A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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