I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
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so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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