The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize