Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize