The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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