It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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