well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching her eat just hurts me
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just blew my weed a kiss
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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