The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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