it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
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Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
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Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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