Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize