One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
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Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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