So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize